


Dan in Phanficland

by demonicbutterflies



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Kinda, M/M, Ok so this is my first fic, crackfic, haha - Freeform, hope you like it, ive broken reality, oh god ive broken it, whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 06:21:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8390560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonicbutterflies/pseuds/demonicbutterflies
Summary: A phanfiction is just a little bit too realistic, as suddenly Dan is living it and doesn't know how to get out- and worse, he doesn't know if he wants to get out.





	1. DISCLAIMER

**Author's Note:**

> Hey the second chapter is already posted too, so don't think this entire phanfic is just disclaimers.

I don’t own any of the characters in this fic.

That is a violation of the thirteenth amendment and I am an AMERICAAAAANNNNNN. (oh god save us.) 

This fanfiction is a work of fiction. (hence the “fiction”) Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously because thankfully this fic is not reality. Other names, characters, places, and events may or may not be a part of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is probably entirely coincidental. 

All rights (and wrongs) reserved.

Watch your step. (you might fall into a plot hole)

Batteries not included.

Manufactured in the United States of America, unfortunately. (save me)

Danger: Highly Flammable Material. (not dan tho)

Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear/disappear.

Shoplifters will be prosecuted.

Authorized personnel only.

Warning: I Think I'm Funny But I'm Really Not

Buy Gold

All activities are recorded to aid in the prosecution of any crime committed against this facility. (not really i don't want to know what you do on your computer)

Hands and feet inside the ride at all times.

Harmful or fatal if swallowed.

No pets allowed. Service Pets Welcome. (that's also a lie pets are always allowed)

Don’t do drugs, kids.

If you exhibit signs of nausea, vomiting, turning green, and/or growing extra eyes, you may have been abducted by an alien and it is advisable for you to run.

Do not touch. (without a long stick)

No smoking.

The apocalypse is nigh.

In case of accidental overdose, seek medical attention immediately.

May cause existential crisis and/or general disgust for humanity.

If used improperly, may lead to serious injury or possible fatality.

Flash flood, hurricane, sandstorm, alien abduction, etc. warning (you should probably move out immediately)

Discontinue use if rash develops.

One size fits no one.

Slippery when wet (by your tears.)

Danger: High Voltage and A Fic By a Person Who Has Never Written One Before

Adult Supervision is advised (actually, no. don't EVER let them see you’re reading this)

Caution: Written By A Clueless American, British Inaccuracies Galore

Parental Advisory: Slightly Questionable and Altogether Improbable Content

Rated R for really, you want to spend your time reading this?

Small parts: not for children 3 years or younger (why are you reading phanfic)

Wash your hands after reading

To avoid suffocation, keep away from all small children, playpens, your dignity, and cribs

Not a toy (but can be treated as such)

Do not steal because that's just really mean I worked hard on this.

Radioactive Testing: F-Bomb usage

Sleepy's (for the rest of your life… ṭ̵͎̐̃̽̇ẖ̳̗̥̙̠̅͋̈̓͞é̤͓͉̘̓ͭ̇̈́͊y̖͈̿͢ ͉̟̃ͅo̰̠̅̾̂ͩw̧͎̙̘̦̟̫͊ͩ͆̑ͦ̑͂ͅn̝̖̪̥̪ ̢̠̠̻̩̲̬y͇̘̜̣̩̲ͮͬ͛͌̈̌͌͞o͏̮̬̖͕u͛͒҉̖̳̩̦̰̺r̲̞͕̳͕̤͍̈͊ͭ̉ͭ̽͢ ͎̪̿̍ͧ͢š̭ͣͬͯ͑o̷̩̽ͣͨ͂u̓̇̐̽ͦ̽̑͏͎͎͍̳̤l͓͇̳͕̱̰͙ ͎͔̯͍̹̹͚̎ͭ̀n̷̥̳̙̳̞̫͗̄ͤ͑̚ǒ̖̤͙̫ͤ̄̚ẁ̋ͪ͡)

No shoes, no shirts, no internet service.

Not responsible for any demonic possessions.

Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram.

To ship faster, advance your trash rating.

Do not use if seal is broken.

Have fun.

ANNNNNNNNNND NOW, ladies, gentlemen, neithers and in-between-ers, the moment you've all been waiting for- the start of this fic


	2. And The Phanfic... STARTS WITH A PHANFIC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something's terribly wrong... with the multiverse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phanfic-ception

Deep in the recesses of the omniverse, it is chaotic and disorderly where it was once nice and neat. Universes twinkle with scintillating light, and it really is quite pretty if you could see it, but if you could you’d probably be burnt to death. Whoever’s maintaining this thing really needs to do a better job. Really, this was bound to happen someday, what with all these universes being formed every Planck time. It was just a miracle this hadn’t happened sooner. In the infinite, in theory there should be infinite space, too. But one new universe shot its way into existence with a bang and pinged into another, which should be scientifically impossible (but I guess if there’s infinite universes, that theoretically there’s a universe where the scientifically impossible is possible.) All was suspended in disbelief for just a moment. A wave of anticipation swept over the immeasurable boundless as All wondered what would happen next.

~~~cool page break bro~~~

Alice found herself staring at her computer. Homework, (which she had been putting off for a million years) or writing phanfiction? Homework, or phanfiction?

Alice decided to go with the responsible choice. Phanfiction, obviously. She couldn't disappoint the fans of her newest fic. It would be her greatest accomplishment: before, she’d only done smutty and fluffy one-shots full of “gay sin.” This new phanfic was chaptered and actually had plot. She shipped Dan and Phil with all of her heart, although she was straight herself. She had debated all the plot points with her best friend and beta, Faith, before deciding on one that they were sure would definitely skyrocket to the (nonexistent now, but it would have to be created in their honor) Fanfic Hall of Fame. Her, a fourteen-year-old, known as the best writer in the phandom, and eventually the world, with Faith at her side! Well, okay, not exactly. In her opinion the plot was actually kind of overdone, but whatever. People usually loved her fics. On her tumblr, (alicewritesphanfic.tumblr.com) she’d already promised them all a chaptered phanfic, not necessarily a good one. Just let her make at least one chaptered phanfic to usher in a new glorious, golden, and shining era of alicewritesphanfic chaptered fics.

Alice started typing with a ferocity, since she wanted to finish the first chapter and send it to Faith that day. She hadn't planned what to write for the chapters, she really had only a loose thread of a story, because planning fics is for babies who are more responsible than she is. Only after she had finished and sent it did she realize it was midnight, it was a Wednesday, and she still hadn’t done her homework.

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who made an actual tumblr for alice,,, a fictional character,,,  
> please give me kudos/comments to make me smile.


	3. three very bad no good fuck-ups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE MULTIVERSE IS SHOOK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wink wink wink sucK IT ALICE

The biggest things can happen with just a little push. 

An entire universe being pushed is, granted, probably a very large push. 

However, at the moment, nothing major has happened. But a universal push makes things unstable. Things will fall, collapse into themselves, or entire entities may be misplaced.

If you read the summary of this fic, I think you'll see what I'm getting at.

For an entire week, things seemed okay. But in the very long timeline of creation, a week is like a jiffy (amount of time light takes to travel in a vacuum.) Things were, in fact, very far from okay.

~~~cool page break bro~~~

Faith scanned over the phanfic on google docs. It was very well written- to be expected of Alice. Faith was 100% sure that Alice would grow up to be a famous author.

She was so good at describing the small details- she just had some difficulty with seeing the bigger picture.

Alice. Alice Cozbi, her amazing best friend, her aggravating best friend, her curly-haired, hazel-eyed, over eager and always ready for a fight, best friend. They had been friends for what seemed like forever, when really it had been since sixth grade. (They were currently in eighth grade.) Dan and Phil had actually brought them together.

Alice had seen Faith’s pixel-pocket t-shirt and immediately proclaimed them best friends forever, whether Faith liked it or not. So Faith, in desperate need of a best friend, or just a friend in general, had gone along with it. And Faith had found she liked it a lot. (Later, Alice told her she usually isn’t nearly that confident with making new best friends, but with Dan and Phil, she made a special exception. After all, phandom members have to stick together!) Alice was so magnetic. She was always rambling and attracted everyone’s attention, yet Alice had decided to devote all of her attention to Faith. She gesticulated wildly when she talked, snorted when she laughed, burst out into song randomly. She couldn’t wink so she awkwardly closed both eyes and said “Wink!” out loud. She was loud, she was radiant, expressive, she was intense.

It was no wonder that Faith had fallen in love.

~~~cool page break bro~~~

The first thing Dan thought when he woke up was “ _ I fucked up _ .” 

Maybe he should’ve apologized yesterday. Alright, whatever. He’d just apologize right now. Problem solved, and then they can laugh about it later. 

Dan stumbled out of bed and headed to Phil’s bedroom. He wasn’t there. Odd. Well whatever, then he wouldn’t have to wake him up to apologize, which would probably just make him madder. Dan headed to the kitchen while wondering if he was still asleep, since the flat seemed very different for some reason. Small objects seemed out of place, and Dan had the distinct feeling of being not there, or maybe the entire universe was not-there. Even the unmistakable smell of home was gone. Glancing out the window he noticed there was mist everywhere, giving the landscape a dreamlike quality. The mist obscured signs and buildings, and when Dan tried to focus on one area, it just seemed blurrier. Getting odder. Dan just shook his head and blamed it on the morning. Whatever. Dan turned the corner to the kitchen to see a smiling Phil, which was pretty bizarre, considering the big fight they’d had the other day.

“Phil, I-”

“Good morning, boyfriend!”

Dan’s eyes widened. “ _ Boyfriend?!” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I still cant believe jiffy is an actual scientific measurement of time  
> 2\. the multiverse is nOT OKAYYYYYYYYY  
> 3\. I learned the difference between the multiverse, the omniverse, the megaverse, and let’s just say it's incredibly confusing and i hate/love humanity for coming up with this shit  
> 4\. So i made a tumblr for faith too it's faithfulphan go check it out and alice’s is alicewritesphanfic please look at them i spent so long making their blogs pretty and fitting their personality they reveal a lot about the characters aaa


	4. a chapter of me being overdramatic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what the chapter title says

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is specifically for you, ThatOneFluffball. your comment finally guilted me into finishing this chapter after like what, six months?

Dan was currently hiding out in his room. He wasn’t about to face whatever the fuck THAT was. Pacing around and doing nothing was better. Much better. But unfortunately, all mildly better options must come to an end, so Dan steadied himself and inched out of the room, feeling like the world’s worst spy on a mission to sneak out to- where, exactly? Well, that could be decided later. He stealthily looked around, and breathed a sigh of relief as he turned to get the fuck out to wherever the fuck he was going to go. The feeling of being a terrible spy intensified as he had apparently missed an entire direction and he was subsequently jump-scared by Phil suddenly popping out of fuck-knows-where. Dan yelped and jumped back, elbow slamming into his door.  _ Smooth.  _

“Phil, is this some kind of joke? Because I’m really sorry about that argument last night and-”

Dan trailed off as he realized Phil did not know what he was talking about. If this even  _ was  _ Phil. The overwhelming urge to slap Phil in the face while screaming “BAKA!” dissipated as Dan searched the person standing in front of him’s face for the things that made him distinctly  _ Phil, Phil, Phil _ and found only  _ wrong, wrong, wrong _ . It was unnerving, disorienting, and Dan needed this to stop right now.

“Uh, did you hit your head or something…?” asked Dan even though  _ he  _ felt like the one who had gotten a major concussion. He felt nervous in front of Phil, which had not happened since what seemed like centuries.  _ Wrong, wrong wrong.  _ Dan was quickly developing a headache. 

“Of course not! Why would you think that?”

Dan’s metaphorical headache escalated. Phil even  _ sounded _ wrong. Somewhere deep down, he knew this wasn’t Phil. Couldn’t be. But the person in front of him certainly looked like Phil. And if he wasn’t Phil, who was he?

While Dan was deep in thought, pondering the not-Phil-ness of not-Phil (as he’d dubbed him in his mind,) not-Phil had apparently had a whole one-sided conversation with him. Not-Phil was now heading out to wherever he had just told him, and so, Dan followed him, feeling like he was setting forth on some epic quest to find out where the  _ real  _ Phil was. He could almost imagine the triumphant music. Only, the music seemed oddly subdued and almost like a farewell song, a tune someone might hear if one listened in the middle of a cut-down forest, under a polluted night sky that revealed no stars, in the blood-stained grass of a battle about to be lost, in a truck’s warning honk before collision, in the cardiac monitor suddenly flatlining, in the low moans of the mourners at a funeral, crying, crying out at a fate already sealed. 

…

I wish he didn’t have to go through this. Maybe someone will have mercy and he’ll have an easy time. 

Oh wait, I decide that!

Haha! 

~~~cool page break bro~~~

Alice banged her head against the table, once, twice, then three times just for good measure. It wasn’t hard enough to actually hurt, she just did it because that’s what you’re supposed to do when you have writer’s block. 

Another one of Alice’s many idiosyncrasies. 

Alice was starting to discover that writing a chaptered fic was a tad bit harder than one-shots. These actually had to have  _ plots.  _ What a bother. She preferred pwp anyday. In these, you had to  _ decide  _ things. And those things would affect the rest of the story. Because this had to have a story. Which this clearly didn’t, since Alice had no idea what to do next.

What a bother. 

Alice made the executive decision of doing what she always did when she had writer’s block: texting Faith. She matched her name in that she would always, without fail, give her a new idea, or inspire her in some way. Faith was just like that.

 

A: aaaaaaaaaaa

F: You need some help w/ your fic?

A: aaaaaaaaaaa

F: I’ll be right over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaa im sorry for not updating for so long ive just been very busy keep sending comments they guilt me into writing faster.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Please leave a comment/kudos to my very first fanfic ever to make me smile. Special thanks to my very best fren Yunruo, who helped me write this and gave this its awesome title (even though she has no idea who donk and plonk actually are.) My tumblrs are everyphanpununderthesun, a phan blog, and demonicbutterflies, which doesn't actually have anything to do with phan but you can go there too I guess.   
> I apologize in advance.


End file.
